Things I've learned from Reba

[1] The heart is a lonely hunter.

[2] If you suspect your beau is cheating:

a) Stay away from phones.

b) Duet with his sailor suited seductress, and blow them both to smithereens in a boat*

[3] Prostitution is okay…in Fancy's case, it was her last chance. She didn't let her mama down.

[4] Don't sleep with men named John.

*Boom